From: cdale@silly.techmonkeys.net
Date: Tue Sep 12 2000 - 20:59:39 PDT
"A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricity to the point of doubtful sanity."
-- Robert Frost
On Tue, 12 Sep 2000, Jeff Bone wrote:
>
>
> > And if you want to follow Neitzche about the 'everyone is selfish'
> > thing (which I totally agree with, BTW),
>
> No, hold on, I never invoked Neitzche, I already said I find nihilists tedious and unfun. Rand,
> baby, Rand.
Okay, whatever. (:
>
> > then the "host" (laughing about a
> > friend's shrit which defines a fetus as a parasite) is selfishly hoping
> > that all of this will end soon and she can get some sleep, bottom line.
> > But underlying that, the parent does see herself in the child, in every
> > move, every sound, every burp, and hopes that the child will do a little
> > better, and knows that this relationship is one that won't go away...till
> > death do us part... Scary?
>
> No, transference. ;-) Why relive your childhood vicariously when, in fact, you never have to let go
> of it in the first place?
>
Who says I let go or am reliving mine? My nick is sillyhead, for Christ's
sake! (: I'm living hers with her. But I see me in everything she does,
and it's quite an ego boost seeing her do much better things with those
things than I did. (: Why's it an ego boost? I dunno, 'cuz I helped!'
yes, oh yes, does anyone wanna talk about the complexities of
mother/daughter relationships and role reversal???? I thought not.
>
> > Hell, yeah, be scared, cause lemme tell you
> > something: your child WILL be smarter than you are.
>
> Wouldn't take much.
That's obvious. LOL. I'm just kiddin, Jeff, I hang out on IRC, so you'll
have to excuse my tom/tim-like behaviour. (:
>
> > She will push buttons
> > you never knew you had,
>
> Great, I've been looking for yet another thing to push my buttons.
Oh, but NOthing pushes your buttons like a kid does! Maybe it's just that
good parents like a little challenge in their lives. I dunno. But some
of the buttons they push are good ones, and ya learn. Hell, I even like
Bone Thugs nowdays! heh.
> > > trick you at your most vulnerable moments,
and
> > make you want to buy yourself (OR HER) an island. That shit about parents
> > giving their kids guilt trips is bullshit. It's the other way around.
>
> Keep going, you're really selling me here.
I'm not trying to sell you. God forbid that someone who hates kids should
have any. (:
> > But, damn, there's no reward like seeing your child do well and feel good
> > about herself and her world.
>
> How about doing well and feeling good about *yourself* and *your world?*
Not as rewarding. I've been both places, and love them both, but seeing
her do well is a better feeling.
>
> > But, just like you had to, she has to
> > struggle and rebel and raise hell to find her place and do the work she
> > has ahead of her. The thing that's the hardest for parents to realize is
> > that their kids, every step of the way, are trying to make their parents
> > proud.
>
> Oh, come on. When they fling their own shit on the walls at age .637 years, there isn't a thought
> going through their head except, maybe if the kid's a prodigy, some fuzzy version of "ooh, poopy me
> fly go make WHEEE!"
Uhm, flinging shit against the walls is not the type of struggling and
rebelling I'm talking about. Maybe you've been watching too much
wrestling. LOL I'm talking about the days when they push and push
against your rules, and you wanna strangle em, but then see them push
against stupid rules made by stupid people, and suddenly beam.
>
> Again, you're arguing from a perspective of the child having some self-sufficiency, identity, etc.
> I'm arguing from the perspective that I think it's hand-waving to even call them human until some
> time significantly post-speech. I just don't see the win in getting from A to B. There are much
> easier ways to make friends than to *create* them yourself.
A doesn't last long. I make friends from all over the world, and have
never had a problem doing that, but THIS kind of friend can't be
met at your local B&N, and can't be synthesized in the future like some
sort of Hal. Maybe that's it. You don't believe in magic. (:
>
> > I can't get it through my head until I think about the motives for
> > many things I've done, which were to make my parents proud. So, it's back
> > to pride, and back to love, but the bitching about diapers goes away as
> > soon as the diapers do. It's really a symbiotic relationship;
>
> Hmm, love me, love my E. Coli.
Eh? What does symbiotic relationships have to do with E coli? (:
>
> > the
> > currency is just not as defined as you'd like it to be. But you'll get
> > yours. (:
>
> We'll see.
I hope so. I wish it on you like a curse. LOL
Havin lots of fun,
Cindy
>
> ;-)
>
> jb
>
>
>
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Tue Sep 12 2000 - 21:04:01 PDT