Re: There They Go, Bad-Mouthing Divorce Again

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From: Roddy Young (roddy@zotgroup.com)
Date: Tue Sep 12 2000 - 12:40:40 PDT


> I am new to the list....and am a tech dude....
>
> But, loved this thread... Am contemplating marriage... And this is
certainly
> scaring the living crap out of me :-)
>

Also new to the list and intrigued by the thread. With four years of
marriage, and a five year "courtship", I agree that you don't necessarily
get more out of marriage than in a relationship. As with most things - it
depends on what kind of relationship/marriage you and your betrothed seek.
For sure marriage isn't easy and it certainly has more pitfalls than simple
monogamous relationships.

Question to those with kids (none here - none planned - yet?): Do children,
in general, strengthen, weaken, or have no effect on the marriage bond?
Taking it a step further, would children have a similar/dissimilar effect in
a monogamous relationship? I say that a marriage vs. a monogamous
relationship built on strong trust and commitment are two shades of the same
color (pick your favorite/least favorite depending on situation). Of course,
when you add in the traditional/legal elements the differences between
marriage/monogamous relationship can lead to the pitfalls others have
mentioned.

I've heard it is said that life doesn't really change until you add the
little ones. Is it for good (as in positive!), for bad, or for the status
quo?
Roddy


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