Re: There They Go, Bad-Mouthing Divorce Again

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From: Tom Whore (
Date: Tue Sep 12 2000 - 12:43:22 PDT

On Tue, 12 Sep 2000, Ernest N. Prabhakar wrote:

--]One thing I firmly believe (after almost 6 months) is that marriage is not
--]50-50 - it is 100-100. If you keep asking yourself "what's in it for me",
--]you'll be perpetually miserable. But if your foremost question is "How can
--]I make my spouse happy" - and you're married to someone with the same
--]commitment - then it is heaven on earth (literally, if you think about it

It is pretty damn cool. '

What I find to be one of the strongest advantages in my realtionship with
Daw and her with me is that we put each other in each others shoes. Its
not just, "wahts goona make them happy" but " what will work so that they
are happy and Im happy with them being happy"

Somethings we find harder than others. Littel things like the radio. shes
all Country Western and Im All NPR or "different Music" on the rare times
they play any on even the schoolyest of school stations.

What works for us I like older country wester joyhny cash and willie
and the like. So does she. She has discoverd she likes Car Talk, the
Morning NPr Shows, This American life and Wait Wait Dont tell me (we play
along sometimes which is great cause we come from very differnt
backgrounds) Also PRarry Home C when its not just Garrison wailign his
brand of music.

So when we are in the car togther we share the things we both like. Every
once and A while she will tune into the pop country western station to
see if ill listen, sometimes I will shen its not the same stupid shadasiy
song for the 10th time in a row, and I will tune into some mongolian
throat singers now and again

WE work at makeing each other and the being of our joined selves happy.

Divorce is something much akin to prozac...please dont jump just yet,
listen this thought out.

Divorce has its place and time and application. When a union is so twisted
against each participant that the only outcome is assured destruction then
Divorce is one of the better things that came out of Henry the VIII's
little CofE. (yes i know it was around before but thats my historical
verbage and im sticking to it)

But divorce perscribed for every small ailment of a union is not a good

So you fight, have you sought redress from each other?
So you are not happy, have you sought the reasons why or are you just
looking for a chang eof any sort?
So you have drifted apart, is it a drift or a rift,, is there no common
ground left?

Happiness does not come in a pill or in a divorce. These things can help
the pain and stop the immediate problems and in some cases cause there to
be a change inthe flow of emotions/chemicals such that the person is able
to rebuild some of thier self strong enough to reenter a life again.

But I dont buy the wholesale over the counter mass perscription of etiher.

Heal when you can,cut only when you must.

    [---===tomwhore@ [] [] []]
                   WSMF's web site ----

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