Re: There They Go, Bad-Mouthing Divorce Again

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From: Ernest N. Prabhakar (
Date: Tue Sep 12 2000 - 09:57:38 PDT

> If you think most people are more interested in the happiness of others
> than their own personal happiness, watch your back.

I think Adam's point is probably the opposite. Since most people -are- more
interested in their own happiness instead of others, they're incapable of a
happy marriage. Or, I would argue, any sort of fulfilled life.

One thing I firmly believe (after almost 6 months) is that marriage is not
50-50 - it is 100-100. If you keep asking yourself "what's in it for me",
you'll be perpetually miserable. But if your foremost question is "How can
I make my spouse happy" - and you're married to someone with the same
commitment - then it is heaven on earth (literally, if you think about it

> Or don't since
> they're all watching it for you: let's see what happens. Why doesn't the
> 3% rule apply to idyllic marriages? Have you been reading the divorce
> statistics in the last couple decades? Provide an alternate hypothesis as
> to why the divorce rate is so high, Adam.

That's pretty easy:

a) The breakdown of extended families, due to mobility
b) Baby-boomers obsession with self-satisfaction vs. traditions &
c) Ability of women to support themselves

Now, I'm not saying divorce is always the worst solutions. I believe it
was Chesterton who described divorce as a tourniquet to staunch a deadly,
bleeding marriage. However, even at its most necessary, I consider divorce
a tragedy. I believe unconditional married love is the highest earthly joy
to which a human being can aspire. Even if the ideal is not often reached,
to give up on that ideal makes us less than human...

-- Ernie P.

Ernest N. Prabhakar, Ph.D.

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