>"Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?"
>
>"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
>
>"What sort of trouble?"
>
>"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
>
>"Went away?"
>
>"They disappeared."
>
>"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
>
>"Nothing."
>
>"Nothing?"
>
>"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
>
>"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
>
>"How do I tell?"
>
>[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] "Can you see the C:\ prompt on
>the screen?"
>
>"What's a sea-prompt?"
>
>[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] "Never mind. Can you
>move the cursor around on the screen?"
>
>"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
>
>[Ah-at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem.
>I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug.] "Does your
>monitor have a power indicator?"
>
>"What's a monitor?"
>
>"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a
>little light that tells you when it's on?"
>
>"I don't know."
>
>"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
>goes into it. Can you see that?"
>
>[sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] "Yes, I think so."
>
>"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the
>wall."
>
>[pause] "Yes, it is."
>
>[Hmm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt s/he would have accidentally
>turned it off, and I don't want to send him/her hunting for the power
>switch because I don't know what kind of monitor s/he has and it's bound
>to have more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or
>something.] "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
>were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
>
>"No."
>
>"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
>cable."
>
>[muffled] "Okay, here it is."
>
>"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
>your computer."
>
>[still muffled] "I can't reach."
>
>"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
>
>[clear again] "No."
>
>"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
>
>"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's
>dark."
>
>"Dark?"
>
>"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from
>the window."
>
>"Well, turn on the office light then."
>
>"I can't."
>
>"No? Why not?"
>
>"Because there's a power outage."
>
>("A power--!?!" ...[AAAAAAARGH!]) "A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it
>licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
>computer came in?"
>
>"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
>
>"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
>when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
>
>"Really? Is it that bad?"
>
>"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
>
>"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
>
>"Tell them you're TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!" [slam]
**************
"Bad weather is good and having a life is bad."
- AOL geek Steve Case on what factors make people get on the internet