Re: [Planet of the Aged] Get off my topic, biyatch

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Date: Mon Oct 09 2000 - 11:55:42 PDT

Okay, if you insist:

Once upon a time, there was a monkey. He always knew he was smarter than
many of the other monkeys, and this bothered him. He couldn't quite put
his finger on why this bothered him -- it just did. One particularly
rainy day, the monkey was sitting in his hut reading the newspaper,
shaking his head at all the stupid things that other monkeys were doing,
and were excited about, when suddenly he had a realization: it didn't
really bother him that he was smarter than most of the rest of the
monkeys. What bothered him was that the other monkeys were dumber than
he. So he decided that he would go searching to find other monkeys of his
intellectual caliper, thinking that this would help him come to terms with
his discomfort about all the stupid monkeys out there. He searched near
and far, eavesdropping on conversations, putting ads in the papers, wiring
overseas universities, sending mail to famous authors. Then, one day, a
letter came -- an invitation to gather with a group of other smart monkeys
that he'd read about. He heard angels and the room filled with light, and
he felt as if he'd finally arrived. Arrived!

So he gussied himself up, bathing thoroughly, brushing his teeth, and
donning his perfectly presssed pea-green suit, and finally adorning his
lapel with a bit of gold, to represent the bit of wealth that he had been
able to gather in his short smart monkeylife. When he arrived, he beheld
monkeys from all over the world, from every culture, gender, class, etc,
and he was amazed and in awe, and no longer felt alone. When he
introduced himself to the crowd, they all nodded politely to him and went
back to conversations that they were already engrossed in. After a while,
this started to bother the monkey. What kind of welcome was this, a
little nod of the head, to such a smart monkey? He wandered around
listening to conversation, but couldn't figure out how to join in any of
them, as he'd been alone all his life, but he knew one thing: They
weren't talking about what HE wanted to talk about. They were talking
about politics or sewing or car manufacturers -- the same things that all
the dumb monkeys liked to talk about. In his confusion and rising ire, he
finally jumped up onto a table and yelled, "CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING
MORE INTERESTING???" All the other monkeys stopped what they were doing
and turned around and looked at him.
The End.

 "A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricity to the point of doubtful sanity."
          -- Robert Frost

On Mon, 9 Oct 2000, Wayne E Baisley wrote:

> The Simian/Nudnik ratio won't improve until Silly posts more monkey
> stories.

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