Re: Love, kids, consistencey, and all that

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From: Jay Thomas (
Date: Fri Sep 15 2000 - 20:56:23 PDT

I have no idea why, maybe a half case of beer, but watching the kids in
the hall, saw this skit, it made me think of the current kids/no kids
debate. Figured, "What the hell, everything else useless in the universe
gets FoRK'ed"

Here it is. Probably more meaningful when seen. And drunk.

Couple Disowns Son

        Dave- father
        Kevin- mother
        Boy- Tommy
        Scott- reporter

    [Dave and Kevin stand side-by-side in front of a suburban house,
with a young boy next to Kevin. We see the scene through a television
camera, as a
    press conference takes place.]

    Dave: We've called this press conference today to announce publicly
what is already a growing rumor in the community - that we are
disappointed both in
    our child and in the experience of parenting. Now, we feel a certain
sense of responsibility in that when our baby was born, we were often
heard to
    encourage other couples to have children, describing it as, and I
quote, "the most incredible experience in the world." We would now like
to retract that
    statement, and for all those who have only recently been stirred to
conceive, we offer a word of advice - don't.

    Scott: Are you gonna get rid of the child?

    Dave: No, no, of course not. We're just gonna go one with our lives,
but openly and honestly. Thank you.

    [Dave, Kevin, and the boy turn and go into the house. As they do,
the reporters yell questions and take pictures, and Dave and Kevin
mutter replies back.]

    Scott: Tommy! A little smile there, Tommy?

    Dave: [quietly] C'mon, Tommy.

    Kevin: No more photos, please.

    Scott: Tommy! Can you smile still, Tommy? Do they treat you well?

    Dave: [muttering] Treating him very well.

    Scott: Just let me just see the kid, just one little picture.

    Kevin: You've had enough.

    [Dave, Kevin, and the boy go into the house, closing the storm door
behind them. Scott follows them up the steps and squats, peering through
the door
    into the house.]

    Scott: Hey c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, hey Tommy? Whoa, what's that, that's
just a black and white TV in there! Hey Tommy!

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video

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