Re: There They Go, Bad-Mouthing Divorce Again - kids

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From: Ernest N. Prabhakar (
Date: Wed Sep 13 2000 - 10:01:19 PDT

Well, after being single for 32 years, I had more than enough freedom. If
you place freedom as your highest priority, I don't think *anyone* would
recommend having kids. It is only after getting married that I really feel
like kids make sense - as an outlet for all the love I share with my wife.

The progression I recommend is:

a) Deciding you prefer responsibility to freedom as a source of meaning
b) Getting married
c) Having kids

Yes, I believe people who are able to go through all of these enter more
deeply (according to my humble utility function) into the "human experience"

But if you really have friends who preach that having kids is in and of
itself the ultimate goal, regardless of where you are at in life, then I
agree with you that they are crazy...

-- Ernie P.

P.S. And actually most rich people I know *do* preach that everyone
'should' be rich, its only that some people are unlucky or too lazy to get
that way. I don't see a big difference between that and most parents...

on 9/13/00 8:51 AM, Jeff Bone at wrote:

>> Negative -- there is a *huge* loss of freedom. If you're not prepared to
>> forgo *all* travel, parties, public social life, and basic "hanging" with
>> your single friends, don't do it!
> There it is folks, the bottom line, from somebody who knows, clearly stated.
> Every individual has to have some function with which to evaluate "lifetime of
> hallmark moments" vs. "huge loss of freedom, forego *all* ..." Clearly, the
> definition of that function is something that is intensely personal. But:
> you
> guys that optimize on hallmark *realize* how weird that looks to the rest of
> us, right? The argument is essentially "give up all freedom and become a
> completely different person, in order to gain benefits we can't even really
> describe to you well enough to justify that on the surface..."
> jb

Ernest N. Prabhakar, Ph.D.

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