Re: There They Go, Bad-Mouthing Divorce Again

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Date: Tue Sep 12 2000 - 22:42:24 PDT

I wanna agree about happy people being happy people. It's the ones who go
around unsatisfied with everything who ruin good relationships and make
happy people unhappy. Well, just for a little while...

 "A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricity to the point of doubtful sanity."
          -- Robert Frost

On Tue, 12 Sep 2000, Lorin Rivers wrote:

> At 1:42 AM -0700 9/12/2000, Dan Kohn wrote:
> >
> >The fact is, the goals of marriage have changed. In the first half of the
> >century people married to survive, reproduce, join properties, become a part
> >of the mainstream community of adults. Individual happiness might have been
> >foreseen and desired, but if as the marriage wore on happiness came to seem
> >elusive, other goals dominated....
> I married my wife because I love her and couldn't imagine spending
> the rest of my life with anyone else...
> There are plenty of people in the world who are miserable because
> they are, well, miserable, despite having huge piles of what most
> people believe makes people happy.
> If having money makes you happy, why does bill gates always look like
> he's passing a kidney stone?
> >
> ><grim, economics-based theorizing about "why" omitted>
> Not in my case...
> >Marrying with the overriding goal of being happy for all your adult life
> >with a single other (since survival, reproduction, property joining and
> >being part of a community of adults can be achieved now without marriage) is
> >a new experiment. Divorce is its corollary. This is an experiment that our
> >children will engage in, whatever models we give them.
> I think that happy people will be happy in most situations and
> bummer-people will be bummed. Learning to be happy with what you've
> got is a key skill for being happy for the rest of your life. Looking
> for external providers of happiness molecules means you will spend
> your time trying to find things and circumstances to make yourself
> happy. It's all in your head, baby.
> Sure, things can suck so bad that even happy people get bummed. I was
> laughing with the paramedics during my chopper flight to the
> intensive care ward...
> I hope me and my wife don't change in different enough directions
> that we no longer love each other, because I want to stay married to
> her until death do us part, but then again I "married up" (I'm fat,
> bald, smelly, lazy, and hairy and my wife is a paragon of virtue and
> beauty).
> --
> Lorin Rivers 512.263.1233 x712 v
> Product Manager 512.263.1441 f
> REAL Software, Inc.
> PMB 220
> 3300 Bee Caves Road, Suite 650
> Austin, Texas 78746
> REALbasic: the visual, object-oriented BASIC
> development environment for the Macintosh

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