Re: There They Go, Bad-Mouthing Divorce Again

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Date: Tue Sep 12 2000 - 14:26:17 PDT

On Tue, 12 Sep 2000, Tom Whore wrote:

> Yea, it is scary when i look around and see how many have done it so so so
> badly. Parents smacking thier kids for no reason, using candy as a reward
> system, letting TV educate them alone, allowing the minds to be sown with
> just any old seeds.
> WHo am I to dare think I can do better? I am me and all I can say is I
> will do it with the help of my wife and our family.

One of the things that I learned even before I had a child was to learn
from other people's mistakes. Sure, I've found myself doing things I said
I'd never do, but the process of elimination thing works pretty well. We
dont yell in this house, we try not to say "never" or "always" when we're
discussing what's going on, and we say "please" and "thanks." These are
all things that I learned by watching things go wrong when I was a kid,
things I decided I didn't want my kid to go through. I think that the
best thing we can do is just communicate effectively with them, and
respect them as people, and love them UNCONDITIONALLY. Everything else
sort of falls into place after that.

> Whats the worst that can happen? I mean hell, if they turn out to be the
> biggest mass murder ever... at least they will be THE BEST ONE THERE CAN
> BE. And they will be loved.

That's the unconditional part. I have seen lots of kids who've been
kicked out because they got into some kind of trouble. This causes
serious emotional scarring. Not that we should encourage our kids to get
in trouble by enabling them, but if they fuck up, so what? We have all
fucked up. And we're all going to fuck up as parents in some way or
another, so the best thing to do is to just try to be -aware- of our
children at all times. "Do inventory" a lot..things like that.
I'm rambling, so lemme get off this machine for a few. (:

> [---===tomwhore@ [] [] []]
> WSMF's web site ----

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