Re: Da Bomb

David Crook (
Thu, 14 May 1998 14:54:00 -0700 wrote:
> At 12:20 PM -0700 on 5/14/98, Robert Harley had this clever thought:
> > >According to today's Wall Street Journal,
> > >
> > >| Why should the world care? After all, India tested its first nuclear
> > >| device back in 1974 [...]
> >
> > But India has not been ruled by a bunch of nationalist nutcases since
> > 1974. I suppose they are planning on escalating skirmishes in Kashmir
> > into a war. Next the fundamentalist Muslim nutcases back Pakistan and
> > attack israel for the hell of it. Caught between nuclear powered
> > Jewish nutcases and nuclear powered Hindu nutcases, the Muslim
> > nutcases stick somes nukes they found in Kazakhstan on the end of of
> > some Scuds. The U.S. intervenes by shooting ineffective Patriot
> > missiles around the place. World War III ensues. Game over.
> > Nostradamus was right after all.
> >
> > Well maybe not, but the possible scenarios are scary.
> Don't see it that way. India pops one into Pakistan. China fearing their
> next pops one into India, India retaliates as does Pakistan, Iran being
> what they are pops one into Pakistan, and India. Isreal being paranoid pops
> a few in every direction. At the same time the stock market hits 10K and
> melts down. Japan now knowing they are doomed from the drifting radiation
> cloud and American stock market sends one into Australia figuring they can
> always use the land. Clinton gets three more interns into the White House
> for the long nights ahead. McNealy knowing this is his best chance
> convinces an Air Force buddy to drop one on Redmond. Job's knowing
> Microsoft is done for raises the price of a new Mac back to 1989 levels.
> The Beastie boys cancel their Tibet concert since there is no more Tibet.
> Pamela Anderson Lee moves back in with Tommy, and Tracy Lords facing her
> 30th birthday announces her return to porn. Pretty simple if you ask me.

No, no, no. You had right until the part about Iran nuking Pakistan.
Iran will nuke Israel, Iraq and India in that order. Israel will nuke
most countries around it, including Italy, just for good measure. Japan
has no nuclear arms, but have a ready supply of giant monsters and
killer robots that they will unleash from monster island. They will
unleash these on most of Asia and Austalia for the reasons previously
mentioned. The stock market will crash upon hitting the 10K mark as you
predicted, driven by rumous that Dalmer-Benz will buy both Crysler and
netscape. Redmond will still be destoryed, but not by a nuke sent by
McNealy. While McNealy is haggling with his air force buddy, Redmond
will be destroyed by a failed first-strike by Gates utilizing ICBM silos
beneath his island and the Microsoft corporate offices. The NT computer
controlling the launch will BSOD and set off the nukes pre-launch.
Pamela Anderson will move in with Tracy Lords and Tommy will go into the
porn busines instead.