Re: Senior Week

Ron Resnick (rresnick@dialogosweb.com)
Thu, 14 May 1998 08:35:23 -0400


SCharlesL wrote:
>
> This is after all a newsgroup that deals with the applications of
> internet technology

Huh?? Just WAIT a cottonpickin minute here..... Who went and
changed the rules? I thought it was a newsgroup [?] (what's a
mailing list vesus a newsgroup?) about something called [VOID]s...

Ah, vacuousness. Blissfull nothingness. Random silliness.
Anna Graham Jabberwocky spuriousness. Language is to
communication as tits are to a mule.

We have met the global intergalactic interconnected bitspace,
stared it in the face, and it is us. We have seen our destiny,
and that destiny is:
The great VOID. Stuff that in your events/threads
stateful/stateless objects/documents
whole/part nature/nurture faith/works God/science conservative/liberal
oral-sex-is-adultery/oral-sex-isn't-adultery
Clinton-told-Monica-to-lie/No-he-didn't/Yes-he-did scientific-arts
and artful-science COM/CORBA/Java/Web pipe and smoke it.
Ontology is dead. Film will not be shown at 11 -
delayed till after the last Seinfeld episode as homage to the VOID.
The VOID rules, everlasting. Nirvana here we come!

The experiment we've all wondered about since the dawn of
grunting homo erectus and earliest papyrus scratchings has
now been performed, due the AMAZING, REVOLUTIONARY
MARVEL OF THE INTERNET (Now only $9.99 at selected retailers,
in the discount aisle).

The astounding thing that happens when
you give mortal earthlings the immortal ability to get up on a soapbox
and talk to all the other mortal earthlings on the planet
and persist their wisdom for all eternity is:
[Punchline] They don't seem to have an awful lot to say.
But they do seem to say it all pretty verbosely.
Pretty anticlamactic, no?

[SCENE: US Senate hearing on NSF expenditures on network infrastructure
technologies. Senator: So let me understand, Dr. SPooN, - 25 years
of investment in Internet technology,
infrastructure and research funded at great cost by
US taxpayers has shown us that the 97% actually have very little
of interest to say to each other? Couldn't we have predicted
that a lot earlier, and a lot more cheaply?
Dr. SPooN: Um, in a word, senator, Yes.]

FADD: Faddish way to spell 'fad', or "FoRKers Against Drunk Driving",
take your pick. Next time take a cab.

Those who would reform society may begin with elementary
social responsibility. AND, to esure that the nettled branches
smite evenly the rump and shoulders of all afflicted sinners,
recall that He who is without sin let Him cast the first stone,
so shut the fuck up Ron.

As Thursday ticks away into late afternoon, procrastination
is clearly showing no bounds :-). The good news is that
Voyager Spaces+mobility+futures are really pretty far out,
as demonstrated in Voyager2, Beta2. I like! www.objectspace.com.
If you're idea of an "ORB" is write/compile IDL, generate stubs/
skeletons, rinse, repeat - you're behind the times - you
owe yourself a date with Voyager.

Yadda, yadda.
STOP! For heavens sake, please...
Gonna make me?

[SCENE: As curtain drops, miniature devil & angel
yetser-ha'ra and yetser-ha'tov figures are
seen struggling in mortal kombat inside the skull held in
Hamlet's hand, as he takes his bows.]

Polite one-handed applause. Then nothing.