Re: Fw: Request to join the FoRK list

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From: Jeff Bone (jbone@jump.net)
Date: Sun May 13 2001 - 23:14:04 PDT


I think Jake gets the prize for all-time best intro!!! :-)

jb

"Joseph S. Barrera III" wrote:

> Please welcome Jake, who was kind enough to send this self-description...
>
> - Joe
>
> From: jake@jspace.org
> To: <fork-request@xent.com>
> Subject: Request to join the FoRK list
> Date: Sun, 13 May 2001 04:06:13 -0700
> User-Agent: Microsoft-Outlook-Express-Macintosh-Edition/5.02.2022
>
> Per FAQ item #77, "So, you may now join FoRK by sending a (preferably tongue
> in cheek) description of yourself."...
>
> Name: Jake
> Title: Professor Emeritus, Northwest Arkansas Community College
> Location: Fayetteville, AR
>
> I'm generally amicable, but may fall asleep on you at any time.
>
> I'm opinionated about things that most people on this planet don't give a
> shit about.
>
> I'm also opinionated about some things that a few people on this planet do
> give a shit about. (I should know -- I'm one of them!)
>
> I know little about most things that I know about.
>
> I don't give a shit about anything that I know nothing about.
>
> I know a lot about a few things that I know a something about, but most
> people don't give a shit about them.
>
> There are lots of things that I know almost nothing about, but I *do* know
> that some of the things that I know nothing about are about to have a
> drastic effect on my affect.
>
> If you ask me to do something, I probably won't, unless I really like you,
> or you pay in advance.
>
> If I hint that you should do something, I'll be bitterly offended if you
> don't, 'cause that means that my ESP was on the blink.
>
> Things I love:
>
> The Internet, Trek, news, music, programming
>
> Things I hate:
>
> The Internet, Trek, news, music, programming
>
> Things I'm indifferent about:
>
> sleep, calculus, Mozart, C, c, and George Johnson's termite problem
> (Who's George? That's m'neighbor, stupid.)
>
> Favorite quotes:
>
> "SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide"
> -anonymous
>
> "FD&C Yellow #5" -anonymous
>
> "Made in USA" -anonymous
>
> "Made in China" -anonymous
>
> "Eat my shorts!" -Bart Simpson
>
> Life's goal:
>
> To achieve super-luminal velocity while eating a Spicy Slim-Jim, and getting
> a neck massage.
>
> Summary:
>
> The above should qualify me for membership to the FoRK mailing list. If not,
> I'll just write a 'bot to get the posts from the web, so save us both the
> trouble... M-kay?
>
> If my qualifications are insufficient, may the wrath of Beelzebub provide
> your descendents with freakishly enlarged genitalia, forever preventing them
> from normal interaction with their fellow humans in any non-Internet-based
> venue.
>
> -Jake


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