The OTHER Bill who's making our lives miserable.

I Find Karma (adam@cs.caltech.edu)
Sun, 25 Aug 96 16:51:02 PDT


The following story about Clinton's choo choo ride is at
http://www.aci.net/kalliste/choochoo.htm

Actually, for fun, go check out this guy's Web page:
http://www.aci.net/kalliste/

He's got lots of entertaining articles like The End of Ordinary Money
http://www.aci.net/kalliste/money1.htm
http://www.aci.net/kalliste/money2.htm

Hackers vs. Politicians
http://www.aci.net/kalliste/hackers1.htm
http://www.aci.net/kalliste/hackers2.htm

And, Tim Byars' personal favorite as well as mine, Bill Clinton's
five line a day cocaine habit:
http://www.aci.net/kalliste/clintcok.htm

Meanwhile, he's the choo choo story...
-- Adam

Bill Clinton's Choo-Choo

by J. Orlin Grabbe

Jimmy Carter is so disgusted with the Clinton
administration that, he says, he will not attend the
Democratic Convention. This didn't make the headlines
in my town.

The ground-swell of non-support for Clinton is
evidenced in his "whistle-stop" tour. His choo-choo train
is scheduled to pause for a political speech in Ashland,
Kentucky. But the advance men discovered they couldn't
assemble a crowd. So all state employees in the area were
ordered to attend the Clinton rally during the weekend. It
kind of reminds you of all those organizations that were
ordered to buy copies of Hillary's book *It Takes a Village*.

The train will arrive in Ashland from Huntington,
Virginia, then head on to Chillicothe, Ohio, for the next
stop. Today's *Washington Post* quotes Clinton as saying,
"Deadly criminals don't stay within state lines, so neither
should law enforcement's tools to stop them." But
fortunately for Mr. Clinton, the national registry for sex
offenders will not be operational for another six months.

This registry will be set up at the FBI. The FBI
will thus be able to enhance the quality of the information
they sell to lobbying organizations, or feed into the White
House Big Brother data base (WHODB).

Why did Clinton choose to travel by train?
Presumably it wasn't fear of a missile attack on his plane.
But the FBI cover-up of the cause of the downing of
TWA Flight 800 is unraveling anyway. One news report
this week ran an interview with Michael Demas, among
others, who describes what can only be a missile traveling
upward and intersecting with TWA 800. Another news
report showed a photograph of the missile's flight path.

Why did the missile glow as it ascended toward
the plane? Because the ordinary warhead of the Stinger
had been replaced with a phosphorous warhead. (This
replacement is not difficult.) Phosphorous incandesces as
it travels through the atmosphere at high speed. Analysis
of the photos shows that it was the *head*, not the tail, of
the missile that was glowing. A spectral analysis shows
the head was phosphorous.

Why did the missile hit the belly fuel tank and not
an engine? Because the phosphorous head is not heat-
seeking. The Syrian-trained terrorists *wanted* to hit the
fuel tank in the belly of the plane. So they changed the
missile head. The missile's microprocessors, once locked
on target, keep the missile on course until it reaches its
destination.

One rather suspects that the real "terrorists" that
Mr. Clinton has to fear will show up in Chicago. Poor
Chicago. They so wanted to change their image as a place
where Democratic conventions turn into disaster, as
happened in 1968. Oh, well. (Aside to Chicago: *Don't
sweat it. Keep up the good work*.)

As I reported in "Clinton and Iran", Robert
Strauss lead a delegation of high-level Democrats asking
Bill Clinton either to resign, or to withdraw his name as a
candidate for the Democratic nomination. Otherwise, the
delegation said, they would attack him from the floor of
the convention. We shall see if Mr. Strauss has the
cojones to carry out his threat.

But whether Mr. Bill survives the Democratic
convention or not, the track ahead is secured by rotten
cross-ties and missing spikes. Apparently Clinton made a
deal with the Israelis: They are supposed to whip up war
fever in the media against Iran, and then he will
bomb the suckers come October. Isn't every red-blooded
American ready to die to make the re-election safe for Mr.
Bill?

The problem is no one can come up with any
evidence that Iran was involved either in the Dhahran
bombing or the downing of TWA Flight 800. Some of
the individuals involved in the Dhahran bombing have
been captured. They are Saudi nationals without ties to
Iran. Thus if Bill Clinton insists on bombing Iran, he will
escalate the very problem he is claiming to solve. We
already have enough problem with Syrian-inspired
terrorist actions on U.S. soil without adding Iranians to
the list. But Mr. Bill doesn't care. He so wants to bomb
those Iranians.

Hopefully Mr. Clinton will find sufficient energy
to get through the trials and tribulations ahead. (Hint to
Bill: take L-phenylalanine. It helps rebuild the brain's
noradrenaline, which is depleted by excessive use of
certain stimulants, like, say, oh I don't know, maybe...
cocaine.)

A railroad track cut through one corner of the
ranch I grew up on in West Texas. When I was very
young, the Southern Pacific still operated a steam
locomotive on that line. The engine fireman would keep
the boiler pressure up by stoking the furnace with coke.
When Mr. Bill decided to take the train to Chicago, I
think he was confused about the operational fuel involved.

-- end of the "doubt everything you know" forward