The Top 15 Surprises at the Windows '95 Birthday Party
15> Those crazy Intel folks send a birthday card wishing Win95
a "Happy .9993827 Birthday."
14> Spirited game of Kick the Mac.
13> Announcement that cake and drinks can be purchased
separately as "add-ons."
12> Despite massive e-mail campaign, Claudia Schiffer and
Pamela Anderson Lee are both no-shows.
11> Unintentionally set world record for number of
multi-millionaires doing the macarena.
10> All gussied up in a pink evening gown, Bill Gates sings
a breathy "Happy Birthday, Mr. Windows 95."
9> Cake turns out to be merely an apple with frosting on it.
8> Bill Gates announces that he actually owns only 97% of the
world, not the erroneously-reported 99.97%.
7> Bill may be worth more than God, but he *still* won't
invest in a new pair of Dockers.
6> The tech support person is in attendance.
5> A drunken Lucifer crashes the party, waving a contract and
babbling about Bill Gates' soul.
4> That wacky Ted Danson shows up in blackface again.
3> After a little Star-Trek, a little D&D, and a few too many .GIF's
of Sandra Bullock, Microsoft programmers cut loose by takin' off
the ol' Birkenstocks and doing a little beard-trimmin'.
2> Not one pair of glasses held together by a band aid.
and the Number 1 Surprise at the Windows '95 Birthday Party...
1> That special moment when Bill Gates closes his eyes, makes a
wish and blows out AOL.
[ This list copyright 1996 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ]
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[ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com www.topfive.com ]
Today's Top Five List contributors are:
- ------------------------------------------------------------
George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO -- 1, 6 (3rd #1)
David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 2
Sterling Smith, Houston, TX -- 3
Matt Diamond, Holland, PA -- 4
Greg Pettit, Houston, TX -- 5, 6
Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- 5
David E. Spiro, Tucson, AZ -- 7
Robyn Andrews, Greenville, SC -- 8
Duncan Carling, San Francisco, CA -- 9
Chris McKenna, Malibu, CA -- 10
Meredith Ogden, Ithaca, NY -- 11
Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA -- 11
Rob Winchell, Arlington, MA -- 11
Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 13
Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA -- 14
Eric Huret, Atlanta, GA -- 15
John Voigt, Chicago, IL -- Topic
Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner, editor
- -------------------------------------------------------------
Selected from 95 submissions from 28 contributors.
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