"Signs Your Spouse Is Having An Affair By Computer"
As presented on the 02/02/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
10. Lately she sits at the computer naked
9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette
8. The giant rubber inflatable disk dive
7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up
6. He's gotten amazingly good at typing with one hand
5. She makes sarcastic remarks about your "software"
4. Lipstick on the mouse
3. During sex, she screams "A colon backslash enter insert!"
2. The jam in the laser printer is a pair of underpants
1. The fax file is filled with pictures of some guy's ass
--There are no incurable ills | There are no believable Gods There are no unkillable thrills | There are no unreachable goals There are no unbeatable odds | There are no unsaveable souls . . Osbourne e-mail tbyars@earthink.net | http://home.earthlink.net/~tbyars ---------------------------------------------------------------------