WASHINGTON, DC--With Wall Street booming, the U.S. military standing tall,
and Mark McGwire kicking ass and taking names, Congress passed the
Helms-Bayh "America Is #1" bill by an overwhelming majority Monday.
....First drafted in the House Rules Committee, the bill includes clauses
establishing that America has the biggest GNP, the coolest cars, and the
best professional basketball players in the entire world. Under the terms of
the bill, any American citizen not liking the new law can go the hell to
Russia.