From: Alexander Blakely (xander@knownow.com)
Date: Tue Sep 12 2000 - 18:01:40 PDT
It's a sad universe you live in, my friend. I know six truly happily
married couples just out of the pool of people who have worked at KnowNow.
I'm going to be presumptuous and assume that I am one of the 6 truly happily
married people who works at KnowNow. Even if Adam didn't think so, I
consider myself to be very happily married. But how much of my happiness
comes from my marriage? Very little. How much of my happiness comes from my
relationship with my beloved wife? Very much.
In other words, the legal, moral, and social status of our union doesn't
bring me significant joy. But, if I were in an dysfunctional marriage, the
legal, moral and social barriers to ending the failed experiment would make
me very unhappy indeed. Am I saying that marriage doesn't make good
relationships better but does make bad relationships worse?
Yeah, pretty much. But I'm not the kind to complain without suggesting an
alternative:
Marriage licenses, like passports and driver's licenses, should have
expiration dates. People's passport and drivers license photos are almost
always unflattering, but even the good ones must be updated because people
change. If our outsides change over the years, why do we assume that our
insides don't change? If my wife and I grow apart, I don't want to become an
emotion burden to her, or vice versa. If a couple doesn't renew at the end
of their current term, the marriage is over. No divorce. It's just over.
Additionally, if a marriage fails before the term is up, then they should
split up, but, and this is key, they cannot remarry until their current
marriage has expired.
My wife and I are approaching our 4th anniversary, and, yes, she has agreed
to stick with me for another 4 years.
Anybody good suggestions for how long a marriage license should be? Should
it be expanded for couples with kids?
X.....
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