9.That tell-tale lemon slice in the dog's water bowl.
8.On her show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your
split-level, right down to the fallen-over licorice downspout and the stuck
half-open graham cracker garage door.
7.You find your pet bunny on the stove, but it's in an exquisite tarragon,
rose petal and saffron demi-glace, with pecan-crusted hearts of palm and a
delicate mint-fennel sauce.
6.The unmistakable aroma of potpourri follows you even after you leave the
bathroom.
5.You discover that every napkin in the entire house has been folded into a
swan.
4.No matter where you eat, your place setting always includes an oyster
fork.
3.Twice this week you've been the victim of a drive-by doilying.
2.You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in
every orifice.
....and the Number 1 Sign You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart:
1.You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your temple.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Philip A. DesAutels W3C <http://www.w3.org/>
Technology and Society NE43-350
philipd@w3.org 545 Technology Square
617.258.5714 Cambridge, MA 02139