statements they make on their drivers' behalf.
Acura Integra
I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.
Acura Legendary
I'm too bland for German cars.
Acura NSX
I am impotent.
AMC Gremlin
I could only afford three-fourths of a Hornet.
AMC Marlin
My father wouldn' t buy me a Camaro.
Audi 90
I enjoy putting out engine fires
Audi 80
I thought the 4000s was too fast.
Austin-Healey 3000
I can put raw meat on the transmission hump and have a well done steak
by
the time I arrive anywhere.
Buick Park Avenue
I am older than 34 of the 50 states.
Buick Riviera Convertible
I'm not very smart, and I look like it too.
Buick Electra
Hey, it's 30-year old technology. But it's GOOD 30-year old technology.
Buick Reatta
I like ugly, impractical, boring cars.
Cadillac Cimarron
I am stupid enough to pay extra money for an uglified Chevrolet.
Cadillac Eldorado
I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.
Cadillac Seville
I am a pimp.
Chevrolet Camaro
I enjoy beating up people.
Chevrolet Chevette
I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.
Chevrolet Corvette
I'm in a mid-life crisis.
Chevrolet El Camino
I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.
Chrysler 5th Ave
Did the pushpins come free with the headliner?
Chrysler Cordoba
I dig the rich Corinthian leather.
Datsun 280Z
I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.
Dodge Charger
Reliable is boring. My car is exciting.
Dodge Dart
I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower.
Dodge Daytona
I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.
Ford Fairmont
(See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang
I slow down to 85 in school zones.
Ford Crown Victoria
I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up
behind
them.
Geo Storm
I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
Geo Tracker
I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
Honda del Sol
I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at
all.
Honda Civic
I have just graduated and have no credit.
Honda Accord
I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45
I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse
I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
Jaguar XJ6
I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per
year.
Jeep Wrangler
I am fiercely independent, just like all my friends with Jeeps.
Kia Sephia
I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu.
Lotus Esprit
Ever pay $2000 for a tune up? I do.
Lincoln Town Car
I live for bingo and covered dish suppers.
Mercedes 500SL
I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.
Mazda Miata
I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler.
MGB
I am dating a mechanic.
Mitsubishi Diamante
I don't know what it means either.
Mitsubishi Eclipse GST
Why accelerate? Because you can!
Nissan 300ZX
I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass
I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts.
Peugeot 505 Diesel
I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List.
Plymouth Fury
I like driving an air-conditioned sofa that can carry your car in my
trunk
as a spare.
Plymouth Neon
I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena.
Pontiac Trans AM
I have a switchblade in my sock.
Porsche 944
I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to
me.
Renault 2CV
I think your car is ugly too.
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow
I think Pat Buchanan is a tad too liberal.
Subaru Legacy
I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu.
Triumph TR6
I am an amateur mechanic who enjoys a challenge.
Toyota Camry
I am still in the closet.
Volkswagon Beetle
I still watch Partridge Family reruns.
Volkswagon Cabriolet
I am out of the closet.
VW Rabbit GTi
My mom won't let me buy a Porsche 'til I finish Algebra.
VW Jetta
I stopped smoking pot when I got a real job after college. I swear.
Volkswagon Microbus
I am tripping right now.
Volvo 740 Wagon
I am frightened of my wife.
Volvo 240
Other drivers are unsafe. Let me go ahead and pull out in front of
this
guy to slow him down.
-
When spotted doing 140 mph on the 101, I have Ford Motor Company
Special
Vehicle Team's 17" disc brakes and ABS to thank for allowing me to get
off the frwy and ditch the cop.
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