Redneck haiku

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From: Jay_Thomas@putnaminv.com
Date: Mon Nov 13 2000 - 10:37:41 PST


Something neither Bush nor Gore, neither conservative, nor liberal. Just
returned from my hunting trip (firearms deer season just opened in N.H.),
still reveling in the culture.

http://www.ilovebacon.com/jokes/110900c.shtml

REDNECK HAIKU

 BEAUTY

 Naked in repose
 Silvery silhouette girls
 Adorn my mudflaps

 REMORSE

 A painful sadness
 Cain't fit big screen TV through
 Double-wide's front door

 OPTIONS

 Unemployment's out.
 Hey, maybe I can git on
 Disability

 MOTHER AND CHILD

 Crusted in boogers
 Stained with Kool-Aid, baby has face
 Only Mama loves

 BLAZE

 Distant siren screams
 Dumb-ass Verne's been mowing with
 Gasoline again

 A NEW MOON

 Flashlights pierce darkness
 No nightcrawlers to be found
 Guess we'll gig some frogs

 EXUBERANCE

 Joyous, playful, bright
 Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
 Of old motor oil

 ALONE

 Seeking solitude
 Carl's ex-wife Tammy files fer
 Restraining order

 DESIRE

 Damn, in that tube-top
 You make me almost fergit
 That you're my cousin

 HATRED

 I curse the rainbow
 Emblazoned upon his hood
 Goddamn Jeff Gordon

 OFFERINGS

 Tonight we hunger
 Grandma sent grocery money
 To Robert Tilton

 DRAMA

 Set the VCR
 Dukes of Hazard Marathon
 Starts at 9 O'Clock

 DEPRIVED

 In WalMart toy aisle
 Wailing boy wants rasslin' doll
 Mama whups his ass

 NO SIGNAL

 White noise, buzzing static
 Call Earl; the satellite dish
 Needs new descrambler

 IMPOUNDED

 Sixty-five dollars
 And cyclone fence keeps me from
 My El Camino

 GATHERING

 In early morning mist
 Mama searches Circle K for
 Moon Pies and Red Man

 PRIDE

 Grinning, he displays
 The nine hundred beer cans that
 Fill his pick-up bed


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