http://www.spe.sony.com/tv/shows/seinfeld/
I'm annotating these in case the title doesn't give you enough clue.
> What is the best "Seinfeld" Episode of All-Time?
>
> Check the list below to see what you, the web fans, have decided were
> the top ten all-time best "Seinfeld" episodes. Your local "Seinfeld"
> stations will begin airing these classic episodes in order from May 7th
> until May 20th!
>
> 10. "The Outing" May 7
Jerry and George are gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
> 9. "The Parking Garage" May 8
Jerry and George get fined for public urination, and Elaine's goldfish
does waiting to find Kramer's car.
> 8. "The Marine Biologist" May 11
Jerry is proud of Golden Boy, the "Iron Man" of tee shirts. George lies
about being a marine biologist and unexpectedly saves a whale whose
blowhole has been obstructed because Kramer is shooting golf balls into
the ocean.
> 7. "The Opposite" May 12
George figures out that every instinct he has is wrong, and so he does
the opposite of his instincts and gets dates, a job, and an apartment.
Jerry's philosophy of "do nothing" makes everything even out for him,
so as a result Elaine loses her boyfriend, her job, and her apartment.
> 6. "The Bubble Boy" May 13
In a fight over a Trivial Pursuit answer typo, George pops the Bubble
Boy's bubble. Meanwhile, because of his careless cigar smoking, Kramer
burns down George's girlfriend's parents' cabin.
> 5. "The Hamptons" May 14
George's girlfriend sunbathes topless but she leaves him because Jerry's
girlfriend witnesses George's "shrinkage" from swimming in cold water.
Elaine, like the baby she's visiting, is "breathtaking."
> 4. "The Pick" May 15
Jerry's girlfriend dumps him because his nose scratching is perceived
from her angle as a pick. Kramer poses in his underwear for Calvin
Klein, and Elaine accidentally reveals her nipple in her Christmas card
photos.
> 3. "The Junior Mint" May 18
Jerry can't remember his girlfriend's name, only that it "rhymes with a
female body part." Kramer's clumsiness while observing open heart
surgery leads to a junior mint falling into the patient.
> 2. "The Soup Nazi" May 19
The soup man makes the gang conform to his rules, or "no soup for you!"
> 1. "The Contest" May 20
The foursome bet to see who can stay "master of his domain" the longest.
I also read in Entertainment Weekly that Jerry Seinfeld's four favorite
episodes are: The Boyfriend, The Rye, The Pothole, and The Yada Yada.
In The Boyfriend, Jerry and Elaine compete for Keith Hernandez'
attention, George ends up with his pants down pretending to be applying
to work for Vandelay Industries as a latex salesman so he can continue
to collect unemployment, and Kramer and Newman's assertion that
Hernandez spit on them leads to Jerry's debunking using a "magic loogie" theory.
In The Rye, Kramer feeds a horse too much beefarino making him
flatulent, Elaine convinces her saxophone boyfriend to do "everything",
and Jerry mugs an old woman for a marble rye from Schnitzer's so George
can reel it in on a fishing rod. Great moment, George with a rye on
a fishing rod.
In The Pothole, Jerry accidentally drops his girlfriend's toothbrush in
the toilet (great toilet cam shot!) and then refuses to kiss her.
Elaine becomes a janitor so she falls with in the delivery route of a
Chinese food place. George loses his Phil "Holy Cow" Rizzuto keychain
in a pothole and has to borrow a jackhammer. And Kramer adopts a mile
of highway and makes wide luxurious lanes, only to later dump paint
thinner on the entire mile sending Newman into flames.
In the Yada Yada, George's girlfriend covers up the fact that she lies,
cheats, and steals, by abbreviating all the nasty parts with "yada yada
yada. Jerry is an "anti-dentite", and Kramer and Mickey can't decide
between the two of them who should date which woman.
So what are my ten favorite episodes?
10. The Boyfriend, for the "magic loogie" theory and for George with
his pants down. "And you want to be my latex salesman?" asks Jerry.
9. The Pothole, for Jerry fishing the toothbrush out of the toilet
with the most hilarious horrified look on his face.
8. The Implant, for Teri Hatcher telling Jerry "By the way, they're
real, and they're spectacular."
7. The Rye, for Jerry mugging the old lady and George with the rye
on the end of a fishing rod.
6. The Comeback, for George's comeback line, "The jerk store called,
and they're running out of you."
5. The Airport, in which Jerry and Elaine are shown in mirrored
plots in first class and coach respectively (Elaine: "Our goal should be
a society without classes" while Jerry enjoys fudge sundaes and lilacs
with a supermodel), while George and Kramer drive back and forth between
JFK airport and La Guardia airport to get credit for the pickup.
4. The Little Jerry, for George discovering conjugal visit sex (and
later, fugitive sex), Jerry screaming "THAT is outrageous!", and Kramer
interacting with his chicken.
3. The Checks, for Jerry's umbrella twirl, Japanese men asking
Kramer to "Come back half hour", and Jerry telling the Japanese men
"move to the back of the drawers" as he destroys the dresser with an axe.
2. The Chicken Roaster, for Jerry and Kramer switching places,
Mr. Marbles, the Heart of Darkness parody, George doing the leave
behind, Kramer thinking tomato juice is milk, Newman spitting out the
broccoli, Kramer eating greasy chicken in Jerry's bed, George stealing
the clock, Jerry on "no sleep", Kramer saying "That's a shame", and
the mantra "That's not gonna be good for business. That's not gonna be
good for anyone."
1. The Serenity Now, for the "serenity now, insanity later", for
George selling a bunch of computers to Mr. Vandelay, for Kramer getting
hosed down with spray string and taking it out on George's computers,
for Elaine having shiks-appeal, for Jerry emoting ("What is this salty
discharge?... This is horrible - I care!"), and for George scaring Jerry
straight.
My next twelve are The Nap, The Muffin Tops, The Puffy Shirt, The Summer
of George, The Fusilli Jerry, The Jimmy, The Calzone, The Shower Head,
The Invitations, The Apology (yeah James Spader!), The Opposite, and The
Smelly Car.
Finally, what are the top 10 Episodes by total audience on the first
airing?
10. The Marine Biologist, Feb 10/94, 34.998 million. ("Is that a Titlest?")
9. The Stall, Jan 6/94, 35.053 million. ("I can't spare a square.")
8. The Rye, Jan 4/96, 35.338 million. ("Gimme that, you old bag.")
7. The Cadillac, Feb 8/96, 35.869 million. (Marisa Tomei!)
6. The Label Maker, Jan 19/95, 36.319 million. ("George is into it.")
5. The Switch, Jan 5/95, 36.613 million. ("The roommate is into it too.")
4. The Seven, Feb 1/96, 37.069 million. ("How about Soda?")
3. The Money, Jan 16/97, 37.375 million. (Del Boca Vista!)
2. The Engagement, Sept 21/95, 37.585 million. ("We had a pact!")
1. The Butter Shave, Sept 25/97, 37.78 million. ("Gold, Jerry. Gold!")
Only four days till the airing of the final "Seinfeld"... sigh.
I'll really miss this show.
By the way, here's a web site with guides to episodes of over 800 TV shows:
http://www.xnet.com/~djk/main_page.shtml
And here's their episode guide to Seinfeld:
http://www.xnet.com/~djk/Seinfeld_1.shtml
My dream final episode of Seinfeld: Keith Hernandez gets Elaine back,
and Teri Hatcher gets Jerry back, but Babu Bhatt takes Teri and Jerry
hostage with the help of Newman (Jerry's "Lex Luthor"). They are
rescued by Dean Cain as Superman, who Teri Hatcher then leaves Jerry
for. In his final scene, Jerry decides that "that's a shame" as his
sneakers touch the floor of a public restroom -- thereby prompting him
to throw the pair out and walk home in his socks with Elaine (who been
dumped by Hernandez for Sue Ellen Mischke), Kramer, and George in a
parody of the Wizard of Oz foursome going down the yellow brick road...
sort of like the Rolling Stone magazine cover for 5/28/98... with Newman
doing a "wicked witch" impression right behind them...
----
adam@cs.caltech.edu
In an op-ed piece, Edward Yardeni, chief economist and managing director
of Deutsche Morgan Grenfell says that problems arising from the Year
2000 computer glitch could cause a major recession, as businesses fail
and government agencies become incapable of delivering basic services,
including tax collection, welfare payments, national defense and air
traffic control: "The likely recession could be at least as bad as the
one during 1973-74, which was caused mostly by a disruption in the
supply of oil. Information, stored and manipulated by computers, is as
vital as oil for running modern economies. If information is harder to
obtain, markets will allocate and use resources inefficiently. Market
participants will be forced to spend more time and money obtaining
information that was previously available at little or no cost...
Furthermore, a 2000 recession is bound to be deflationary. The U.S. may
experience a $1 trillion drop in nominal GDP and a $1 trillion loss in
stock market capitalization."
-- Educom quoting the Wall Street Journal, May 4, 1998