I stand by "the" appropriate sex: Penis, Vagina, or Miscellaneous... :)
Hey, is this the first time the word penis has been used on FoRK?
Maybe this can be the filthiest FoRKpost ever! (Note to joebar, tbyars,
duck, rumman, and phryday: this is *NOT* a challenge.)
Oh, and joebar, the reason I can't promote you to overposter status is
that there's a very satisfying duality created by the FAQ's
juxtaposition of your description with joek's description:
http://www.cs.caltech.edu/~adam/LOCAL/faq-fork.html#joebar say,
<LI> joebar@evil-empire.com San Francisco, California <BR>
When he's not dreaming of Tommy burgers and Harvey Mudd,
<A HREF="http://www.research.microsoft.com/research/barc/joebar/">
Joe</A> defends Microsoft, because *someone* has to.
<LI> kiniry@cs.caltech.edu Pasadena, California <BR>
When he's not dreaming of Michael Moorcock and slam dunks,
<A HREF="http://www.cs.caltech.edu/~kiniry/">
Joe</A> attacks Microsoft, because *someone* has to.
Of course, if you want to argue semantics, then Rob Harley and Tim Byars
also belong in the "extreme prejudice toward Microsoft" camp with JoeK,
and Rohit "I continue to use Windows 95 despite my continual complaints
about it" Khare, Magnus "lurker" Hedlund, and Adam "I'm a masochist, so
please let me try out yet another buggy Xserver for Windows NT so I can
log into the NetBSD machines to try to get some actual work done" Rifkin
could be in the "malice toward none" camp with JoeB.
Whoa, that was heavy. Need to lighten things up some more. How about
some more obscenities, those usually create a nice sophomoric aire...
Evicting the testicular squatters.
Lap-based web browsing.
Gettin' some air nookie.
Wrangling the invertebrate serpent.
Tango Con Mano.
Shaking your fist at the ex-girlfriend.
Releasing the hostages.
Carnal Tunnel Syndrome.
Tickling your Elmo.
Beta-testing the hardware.
Manually Increasing the Surface Temperature of the Ship's Primary Cannon
by Repeated Linear Manipulation.
Making the Cream Rise to the Top.
Just Add Water, Make Your Own Sauce.
Doing a Load by Hand.
Pulling the Porpoise.
Riding the One Handed Bicycle.
Taking a Solo on the Skin Flute.
Cramming for Finals.
Hitting the Jizm Trail.
Firing a Protein Torpedo.
Saluting the Bishop.
Slammin' the Ham.
Jerkin' the Gherkin.
Pecking at Jimmy.
Doing the Peter Beater.
Getting the Upper Hand.
Stroking the Sausage.
Squeezing the Lizard.
Bopping the Baloney.
Wringing the Weasel.
Shaking Hands with the Unemployed.
Making a Date with Rosie Redpalm and her Five Sisters.
Going out with Felicia Five Fingers.
Sharing a Moment with Yourself.
Making a ChoadLoad.
Polishing the Baton.
Churning the Butter.
Choking the Chicken.
Slip Sliding Away.
Marching to the Beat of a Different Drummer.
Aiming for the Stars.
Milking It for all It's Worth.
Stroking the Pony.
Taking a Shot in the Dark.
Gland Handling.
I Wanna Hold My Gland.
Going for the Gold.
Taming the Trouser Shrew.
Wrestling Willie.
Squeezing off a Round.
Playing SlopScotch.
Charming the Trouser Snake.
Making a Mess of Things.
Answering the Bone-a-Phone.
Adjusting the Vertical Hold.
Getting a Grip on Things.
Doing the Five-Knuckle Shuffle.
Palming the Top Card.
Purging the System.
Playing Solitaire.
Stirring with the Skin Ladle.
Waxing the Dolphin.
Making the Puppet Spit.
Giving Yourself a Hand.
Making the Sound of One Hand Clapping.
Priming the Pump.
Whipping Yourself into a Frenzy.
Pulling the Pud.
Doing One-Handed Pull Ups.
Wringing Out the Old.
Making Soup for One.
Getting a Handle on the Situation.
Teasing the Wonder Worm.
Polishing the Purple-Helmeted Love Nazi.
Lettin' Ol' Sniffer out for a Run.
Making the Swelling Go Down.
Cramping Your Style.
Pleasing the Throbber.
Heading Yourself Off at the Pass.
Bringing it on Home.
Ah, I feel better....
----
adam@cs.caltech.edu
I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating
than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
-- Clerks