> T H E T O P F I V E L I S T
> June 11, 1997
>
> The Top 15 Questions on the Spice Girl Job Application
>
> 15> In space provided, tell us why you want, why you really,
> really, want this job.
>
> 14> Do you have any detectable vestige of talent, besides your
> hooters?
>
> 13> Would it, like, bother you to be the target of unrelenting
> hatred?
>
> 12> How would you best describe yourself?
> ( ) An energetic self-starter
> ( ) A team player
> ( ) A tasty, albeit untalented, bit of crumpet
>
> 11> True or false: A mosh pit is the seed of the mosh fruit.
>
> 10> "I am willing to trade sexual favors for a career in the music
> industry." ( )Yes ( )No
>
> 9> How many times have you been kicked out of a karaoke bar?
>
> 8> Does nudity bother you? If so, should I put my clothes back on?
>
> 7> Explain the difficulties in identifying the source of
> individual free will in light of the deterministic theories of
> neurochemical medicine and modern behavioralist psychology.
> Just kidding!! Seriously, do you like leather mini-skirts?
>
> 6> Are you deceptively attractive in colored or stroboscopic light?
>
> 5> Choose an appropriate nickname: Sexy, Nasty, Sweetie, Chlamydia.
>
> 4> Have you ever been convicted of combining vertical and
> horizontal stripes?
>
> 3> If two trains leave Liverpool an hour apart at 90 kilometers,
> and 75 kilometers an hour, respectively, how would you look in
> spandex?
>
> 2> Does the term "force majeure in perpetuity" make you afraid or
> just giggly?
>
> and the Number 1 Question on the Spice Girl Job Application...
>
> 1> If required as part of your deal with Satan, would you be
> willing to help alleviate Prince Charles's loneliness?
>
> [ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc. ]
> [ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com ]
> [ To forward or repost, please include this section. ]
----
adam@cs.caltech.edu
Sometimes before bed, I look in the mirror and wonder just what I'll be
doing in ten years. Then I look at the clock and think, "Probably
flossing."
-- April Van Scherpe