inevitable Clinton jokes
CobraBoy (tbyars@earthlink.net)
Tue, 27 Jan 1998 11:58:50 -0800
How did 500 women sampled at random respond when asked if they would have
sex with Bill Clinton?
86 percent responded 'Not again!'
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During Nixon's administration we had a crisis involving 'Tricky Dicky'
Now we have a crisis involving 'Licky Dicky'
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Did you hear Clinton doesn't use bookmarks?
He just bends over the pages!
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Why does Bill drink so much coffee?
He is required to 'stay up' for many hours to satisfy the needs of his staff
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Why did Bill get into this problem?
He didn't know that harass was one word.
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President Clinton, what do you want to do about this abortion bill?
He replies, 'I guess...pay it!'
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Clinton Presidential Anthem -- Kneel to the Chief
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Why is there no proof?
She swallowed the evidence.
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What was Bill's rationalization that oral sex is not a sexual encounter?
Because Monica did not swallow!
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Who's handling the case?
INTERNal Affairs
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Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica
Lewinsky?
President: Improper? ... Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of
the the sweetest interns I've ever had.
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What's the difference between Watergate and Zippergate
At least this time, there's no doubt about the identity of 'Deep Throat'.
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How did Bill reply regarding questions of 'coaching' Monica's testimony?
'It wasn't words that I put in her mouth'.
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Why didn't Monica swallow?
Because that would be destruction of evidence.
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Why is Chelsea upset about Zippergate?
Her dad is getting more dates than she is.
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Why did Monica Lewinsky accept an offer to work on the White House staff?
She didn't understand know what STAFF he really meant.
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What is Revlon calling it's new Presidential winter line for 1998?
Shades of the truth
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Why is President Clinton waiting to tell his side of the story?
He's waiting for Marv Albert to do the interview.
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Who's going to score first in the Super Bowl? The Denver Broncos or the
Green Bay Packers?
Bill Clinton
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What was the White House Chief of Staff's reaction to the Lewinsky story?
Now I know why they kept calling Monica the 'head' intern!
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What's Hillary's new nickname for Bill's penis?
The Titanic - because over 1500 interns went down on it.
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What was yesterday's Washington Post Headline?
Bush Beats Clinton
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What is Clinton's new Secret Service Code Name?
Unibanger
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What's the difference between Gennifer, Paula, Monica and Hillary?
The first three prefer to sleep with men.
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How does Hillary feel?
She may be the FIRST LADY, but she won't be the LAST
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What advice did Yasar Arafat give President Clinton in their meeting on
January 22, 1998?
Bill....Goats don't talk!!
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What do Bill and Ross Perot have in common?
They both heard a giant sucking sound!
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President Clinton said to Monica, I didn't tell you to lie in deposition . . .
I told you to lie in THAT POSITION!
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What's the actual title of Hillary's book?
It Takes a Village . . . to Satisfy my Husband
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Realization of another White House intern . . .
And all that time I thought that humming was the shredder!
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