The Top 16 Excuses Used For Getting Out Of A Speeding Ticket
16> In pain from multiple paper cuts to the wrist and throat.
15> "Aye, Captain, I have to get the Enterprise washed, gassed
up, and back to Starfleet Command before they miss 'er!"
14> "We're trying to get the President to Miss Jones' apartment
for his next, um -- <ahem> -- cabinet meeting."
13> Key evidence obtained from illegal search of your mansion.
12> "According to Einstein's Theory of Relativity, I COULDN'T
go that fast!"
11> "Tons of drugs are headed for Woodstock, and I wanted to
be first in line to make a citizen's arrest."
10> "We don't have speed limits on *my* planet."
9> Frozen accelerator pedal was magically unfrozen by
police radar.
8> "The Cameroon-Romania game is on in five minutes!"
7> "Excuse me officer, are those Bugle Boy Jeans you're wearing?"
6> "I gotta get to the bakery -- it's time to make the
doughnuts!!"
5> "Eight minutes to Wapner. Eight minutes to Wapner."
4> "Oops! It seems I've dropped my driver's license on
my crotch..."
3> "Bob Barker pulled up beside us, leered at my wife,
and kept saying 'Come on down!'"
2> "Gimme a break, willya? The Gotti Family picnic is
starting in ten minutes."
and the #1 Excuse Used For Getting Out Of A Speeding Ticket...
1> "All those vodka tonics make it *mighty* damn difficult
to focus on the speedometer."
[ This list copyright 1994 by Chris White ]
[ *To forward or repost, you must include this section.* ]
[ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com www.topfive.com ]
Today's Top Five List contributors were:
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Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL - 1, 9
Randy Wohl, Israel - 2
Sam Evans, Charleston, SC - 3 (Hall of Fame)
Ken Woo, Encinitas, CA - 4 (Hall of Fame)
Kim Moser, New York, NY - 5, 6
Jay Allen, New Orleans(!), LA - 6, 14
John Hering, Alexandria, VA - 7
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL - 8
Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA - 10
Donna Tschetter, Saratoga Springs, NY - 11
Michael Wolf, Bronx, NY - 12
Alkes Price, Philadelphia, PA - 13 (Rookie!)
Roger P. Ciotti, Kenosha, WI - 15
Don Findlay, Mt. Vernon, IA - 16
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Today's entries: 100 submissions by 34 contributors.
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Maybe It Just Might Be True!
Tuesday's "Maybe" was in error. All forks have four tines.
That's what makes them forks. The ones with three are
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and with just a single tine, it could only be a wunk.
(Thanks once again to Agnes Tomorrow)
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