Wait a minute, you mean the conspiracy nuts were right?
(Recently on the conspiracy list, they've been saying how
Clinton is inventing excuses in the form of covert operations
that will give him an excuse to bomb Iran in October, just
in time for the election.)
> * The Democratic National Convention opened last night in
> Chicago, Illinois.
> - among last nights activities was a tribute to late
> Commerce Secretary Ron Brown.
> - speakers for tonight include Mario Cuomo, Indiana Gov.
> Evan Bayh, and first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Snore. They can't honestly believe anyone WANTS to watch this.
Bring back Superman for an encore speech, darn it!
Cuomo and Jackson might be good speakers, but who wants to
watch them?
> * President Clinton continues his train voyage to Chicago today,
> and is expected to address educational issues during a
> scheduled stop in Michigan.
I still don't understand this whole train thing.
> * The record number of students enrolling this year in elementary
> and secondary schools across the nation is necessitating an
> unprecedented nationwide hiring push for teachers.
You're right, Rohit, the Daily Brief is annoying sometimes because you
never know the WHY.
> * A report released by the American Automobile Association says
> that air traffic control centers in Fort Worth, Chicago, and
> New York have the worst reliability records.
> - the AAA analyzed Federal Aviation Administration data
> collected over the past 16 months to reach their conclusion.
I don't need a report to tell me this.
> * A USA Today/CNN/Gallop poll of 1,188 registered voters released
> yesterday shows President Clinton with a 12 point lead over
> Republican challenger Bob Dole.
Meanwhile, my shares in Bob Dole keep plummeting.
> * Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan has reportedly asked
> the government for permission to accept a $1 billion donation
> from Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi.
> - the donation would be used to "advance the interests of
> black Americans."
Darn, that's a lot of money.
> * Citing his lack of belief in discrimination, Joe Arpaio, the
> sheriff of Maricopa County, Ariz., has announced his intention
> to initiate female chain gangs.
Cooooooooool. Get me to Arizona.
> * The mother of Olympic Centennial Park bombing suspect Richard
> Jewell asked in a statement yesterday that President Clinton
> to clear her son's name.
> - Jewell has been named as a suspect in the case, but has
> not been charged.
"Clear my son; he's nowhere near as guilty as you!"
> * Los Angeles Times reported yesterday that US Secret Service gave
> out credit card numbers and credit histories without cardholders
> consent.
> - numbers of 35 Citibank cardholders, including customers'
> names, addresses, home phone numbers, Social Security
> numbers, credit card numbers, available credit lines and
> outstanding balances.
> - gave information in a sting operation.
> - Times did not say if Govt. had given others information in
> similar operations.
Things like this make me love my government. Best government money can
buy.
> * The New York Times reported this morning that the investigation
> into the crash of TWA Flight 800 has cost nearly $10 million.
> - the Times quoted one industry analyst as saying that the
> investigation may cost $50 million by the time it ends.
And who, pray tell, is paying for this?
> * Eleven crew, including the captain, of a Honduras-registered
> tuna ship were killed and thrown overboard in a mutiny on high
> seas.
> - captain had reportedly radioed another ship that some of his
> crew refused to work.
Hopefully no one hurt the tuna.
> * 128 Hindus died last week in annual holy trek to cave 12,725
> feet high in the Himalayas.
> - 112,000 Hindus came to Kashmir to worship an ice stalagmite
> believed to be a manifestation of the phallus of Hindu God
> Shiva.
Excuse me?
> * Paris court yesterday blocked expulsion orders against 3 of 10
> African immigrants who staged a 52-day hunger strike for right
> to stay in France.
> - ruled they could not be deported in view of their health.
Didn't France give us a Statue of Liberty to invite immigrants?
Is that so they can deport people to our country.
> * A Bangkok newspaper reported yesterday that half of 89 rare
> Buddha statuettes discovered last month at a construction site
> had been stolen from a museum.
> - theft occurred in Laos.
Who would steal Buddha statues?
> * Z-trim, a new artificial fat invented by a US Department of
> Agriculture researcher, promises to help food manufacturers cut
> fat and calories.
> - from products such as cheese and chocolate.
Another fake fat?
> * 4th largest US long distance company WorldCom Inc. to buy MFS
> Communications Co. in a $14 billion stock deal.
WorldCom???
> - will join AT&T, MCI and Sprint as one source local,
> long-distance, Internet and international communications
> service.
Lovely. Another company that wants to control the wire.
> * Silver King Communications Inc. to buy Home Shopping Network in
> $1.3 billion stock deal.
> - analyst speculate chairman Barry Diller is preparing to
> launch another major network; he launched Fox network.
Here we go again.
> * MCI Communications Corp. formed a 10-year deal with NextWave
> Telecom Inc. to boost MCI service capacity to over 110 million
> people.
Big deal, they don't have Candace Bergen as a spokesmodel.
> * America Online to be profitable in Europe 2 years ahead of
> schedule.
That should be a crime.
> - so says German partner Bertelsmann AG.
> - currently has 200,000 European subscribers and expects to be
> the market leader.
I thought Europeans had better taste than that.
> * Caterpillar Inc. filed suit yesterday against Deere & Co. for
> alleged patent infringement over design of rubber tractor
> tread.
> - received patent in 1994 on its rubber-track Challenger
> farm tractor.
Nothing like bubba companies fighting.
> * Coca-Cola Co. claimed yesterday that it had become the top
> softdrink company in Russia.
> - also announced plans to invest additional $100 million in
> Russia by end of next year.
> - Pepsi claims it still has honors in Russian market.
I thought Russians had better taste than that.
> * Variety reports that Jim Carrey is negotiating to star in
> a remake of "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty."
Ssssssssssssssssssssssssmokin!
> * Actress Claire Danes has reportedly been offered the female
> lead in the movie adaptation of John Grisham's "The Rainmaker."
I'm there.
> - actors Edward Norton and Matt Damon are the leading
> candidates to play the male lead.
Who?
> * Andre Agassi, Michael Chang, and MaliVai Washington advanced in
> the US open yesterday.
> - Gabriela Sabatini and 17th-ranked South African Amanda
> Coetzer advanced in womens' play.
Ever notice how much Tim Byars looks like Andre Agassi?
http://www.cs.caltech.edu/~adam/GIFS/Tim.jpg
:) Adam
