The Top 15 Good Things About Going to Hell
15> None of that annoying check-in procedure like with St. Peter.
14> That Tony Robbins Seminar firewalk trick *finally* pays off!
13> Buffet always has plenty of Lucifer's secret-recipe deviled eggs.
12> Due to recent health code changes, vats of boiling brimstone now
use low- fat canola oil.
11> Your "Do you smell something burning?" slays 'em, year after year.
10> Plenty of legal help available for filing "wrongful death"
lawsuit.
9> Newly passed law: Three strikes and you're back in LA.
8> Satan's confused attempts to torture masochists can be highly
entertaining.
7> Inability to ice skate no longer gets in the way of having fun.
6> No need to pack the parka over Bob Dole's election chances.
5> Well, sure, it's hot, but it's a *dry* heat.
4> Free prostate checks and PAP smears administered daily!
3> The surprisingly entertaining "Hitler and Kathie Lee Show."
2> Prizes awarded for best crank phone calls to God.
and the Number 1 Good Thing About Going to Hell...
1> 52 smmmmmokin' channels of Jim Carrey!
[ This list copyright 1996 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ]
[ *To forward or repost, you must include this section.* ]
[ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com www.topfive.com ]
Today's Top Five List contributors are:
-------------------------------------------------------------
Ken Woo, Encinitas, CA -- 1, 14 (Hall of Famer/5th #1!)
Debbie Lander, Las Vegas, NV -- 2
Chris McKenna, Malibu, CA -- 3, 5
Alexander Clemens, San Fran, CA -- 4
Lee Oeth, San Diego, CA -- 5
George Olson, Co. Springs, CO -- 5
Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- 5, 14
Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 6 (Hall of Famer)
Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA -- 6
Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 7
Larry Baum, La Jolla, CA -- 8, 10
Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 9
Meredith Ogden, Ithaca, NY -- 10
Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD -- 10 (Hall of Famer)
Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA -- 10
David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 11
Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 12
Jennifer Ritzinger, Seattle, WA -- 13
Greg Pettit, Houston, TX -- 15
Chris White, New York, NY -- List moderator, editor
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Selected from 134 submissions by 41 contributors.
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The Top 15 Good Things About Going to Hell, Part II
15> Everywhere you look, there's a smoking section!
14> Perpetual flame means never having to eat a lukewarm
French fry.
13> Upon arrival, you realize it's a big step up from
Bakersfield.
12> Your little "blue flame" trick now produces spectacular
results.
11> Finally get to meet that Rubik guy and tell him what
you think of that @#*&%! cube.
10> There's absolutely no chance you'll be living too
close to an amusement park.
9> Party-Animal Satan throws one helluva weenie roast!
8> Free Microsoft software for everyone (as per agreement
made back in early 80's).
7> Finally rid of that pesky little "conscience angel"
on *right* shoulder.
6> Now that you've followed her advice, you just might
get that date with Cindy Crawford.
5> Which would you rather jam to: Harps & choirs, or
Hendrix & Morrison?
4> Every Thursday is Karaoke Night, hosted by Dean
Martin and Sammy Davis, Jr.
3> Saturday night WWF tag-team bout between Genghis Khan,
Vlad the Impaler, and Hitler.
2> Everyone gets a length of pipe and a daily crack at
Nancy Kerrigan's knee.
and the Number 1 Good Thing About Going to Hell...
1> Fortune to be made on "Welcome, O.J." t-shirts.
[ This list copyright 1996 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ]
[ *To forward or repost, you must include this section.* ]
[ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com www.topfive.com ]
Today's Top Five List contributors are:
--------------------------------------------------------------
Joe Desiderio, New York, NY -- 1 (1st #1!)
Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA -- 2
LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Fran, CA -- 3, 7 (Hall of Famer)
George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO -- 4, 8
Chris McKenna, Malibu, CA -- 5
Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA -- 6
Gayle Ehrenman, New York, NY -- 9
Meredith Ogden, Ithaca, NY -- 10
Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA -- 11
David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 12
Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA -- 13
Galen Tatsuo Komatsu, Hawaii! -- 14
Rick Welshans, Alexandria, VA -- 15
Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner, editor
--------------------------------------------------------------
Selected from 134 submissions by 41 contributors.
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