Re: I am so totally controlled by my environment...

Ernest N. Prabhakar (ernest@alumni.caltech.edu)
Fri, 22 Aug 1997 09:26:56 -0700 (PDT)


> Worst of all, it substitutes for boredom.

Yeah, I've been struggling lately with my fear of ffear
sorry, fear of boredom. I realize I hate having nothing to do. Even reelaxing
has to have some activity.

Deep down, I think this relates to a fear of being alone, which I personally
think is more common even than fear of public speaking. Certainly for
FoRKers. Being alone with our thoughts, fears, dreams, images of self.

As I'm working through relationship issues (egads, FoRK really is turning
into group therapy, isn't it?), I am trying to force myself to turn off the
TV, put down the book, let go of my latest marketing strategy and computer
idea and JUST FEEL.

Not a pretty sight. But oddly cathartic. Y'know what I mean?

-enp