[FoRK] Poll: I would rather my daughter married a Muslim than an Atheist

Stephen D. Williams <sdw at lig.net> on Fri Jun 22 09:39:35 PDT 2007

Lion Kimbro wrote:
>  How bizarre, to read what's written here, and
>  then to remember our conversation on the phone;
I can't respond in detail until much later, but A) I'd written most of 
that before we talked and B) I believe it all holds true but each 
discussion point has to be categorized into the hard vs. soft vs. random 
experience reasoning categories.

>  I could have sworn, in just about every single point,
>  we were either:
>  A) In complete agreement,
>  B) Mostly in agreement,
>  C) In some doubt of each others position,
>  but seeing how the other line could be argued.
>  When I read what is written here in your response,
>  though, it feels like we are at opposite ends of some
>  pole.
>  I don't think you're being dishonest either here or
>  on the phone.  Nor do I think I misread the situation-
>  I think we're actually in A, B, or C.
>  But I do think that it's interesting that email exchanges
>  capture questions/challenges without answers, and how
>  the series of frozen moments -- the unanswered question,
>  the unanswered question -- automatically polarizes things,
>  and makes things automatically seem more confrontational
>  than actually are.
>  I think --
>  When we're on the phone, and we disagree with something,
>  we'll often say, "Well, wait-- what do you mean by X?" ...and
>  the other person, detecting that X might be interpreted
>  as Y, which both parties object to, and then rephrase (to X2)
>  without further prompting.
>  Whereas online, we can't easily do that, (economy of
>  interactions and all,) so what we do is, we often assume that
>  they meant Y, and then just set up an explanation about why
>  Y is all wrong, and how we might be able to support X2, and
>  so on, and so forth, and so-- it may just be intrinsic to the
>  form, to end in what appears to be conflict.
>  Even if there's none, or just merely hardly any.
>  Not to say that there isn't ever really any serious disagreement.
>  Just noting the vast gulf in appearance, between our conversation
>  by phone, and what I see here in our email exchange.
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