gene simmons rocks (fwd)

Lucas Gonze lucas@gonze.com
Wed, 9 Jan 2002 14:14:01 -0500


> > Transcript of 12/11/2001 Fresh Air (NPR) interview that never aired...
> >
> >
> > Terry Gross interviews Richard Simmons
> > ------------------------------------------
> > TG : Now, clothes that you've worn on stage. You wear fishnets...
> > RS : No, fire your research person, I don't wear clothes on stage.
> > Just a flesh colored tush extender, corset, and a little plate to
> > give me a groin like a plastic action figure.
> >
> > TG : I was sure I'd seen you in them, but I trust you.
> > RS : Don't ever do that, I'm not a clothes man.
> >
> > TG : Let's get to the studded leotard -- Do you have a sense of
> > humor about that?
> > RS : No it accentuates my manhood, otherwise you would consider me
> > utterly sexless.
> > You'd have to stop aerobicizing and laugh till you pissed yourself.
> > The notion is if you're going to welcome me with open arms you also
> > have to avoid mocking me to my face.
> >
> > TG : That's a really obnoxious thing to say.  You're just so mockable.
> > Has it come to this? Is this the only way you can talk to a
> > woman, bouncing off the walls like a superball on cocaine?
> > RS : Let me ask you something. Why is it schtick when all women have
> > ever wanted since we crawled out of caves is, "why can't a man just
> > tell me the truth and speak to me plainly", and when I do it you
> > poke my stomach like the Pillsbury dough boy?
> >
> > TG : <pokes Richard's stomach like the Pillsbury dough boy>
> > RS : <tee-hee> I'm laughing all the way.
> >
> > TG : Yea to the bank!
> > RS : Of course, don't I sound like a happy guy?
> >
> > TG : Not really to be honest with you.
> > RS : I was going to suggest you get out into
> > the world and do what everybody else is not doing.
> >
> > TG : Having sex with you?
> > RS : Well if you chose but I'm not putting a bag over my head this time.
> >
> > TG : Ok well we might as well get to this since you keep bringing this up...
> > RS : I didn't, you did.
> >
> > TG : You write that you're not even sexually viable to a 13 year old
> > virgin who just found out the world will end in a half hour.
> > RS : You're supposed to say so far.
> >
> > TG : I'd like to think the personality you presented on our show
> > today is a persona that you've affected as a squat little camera chaser, but
that
> > you're not nearly as obnoxious when you're at home or with friends.
> > RS : Well...
> >
> > TG : <pokes Richard's stomach like the Pillsbury dough boy>
> > RS : <tee-hee>