Responding to criticism that the island has been called Java* for
centuries, Sun lawyer Frank Cheatham said "Yeah, and in all that
time they never filed for a trademark. They were asking for it."
Rather than pay the licensing fee, the island decided to change its
name. They originally voted to change it to Visu Albasic, but an
angry telegram from Redmond, Washington convinced them otherwise.
The country finally settled on a symbol for a name--a neatly-colored
coffee cup which still evokes the idea of java. Since most
newspapers and magazines will not be able to print the name of the
island, it will hereafter be referred to in print as "The Island
Formerly Known As Java*".
The Island Formerly Known As Java* bills itself as a cross-landmass
island, but so far has only been implemented in production on the
Malay Archipelago. Africa is been rumored to have implemented it on
Madagascar, but it is still in alpha testing.
Lawyers from Sun are also, reportedly, attempting to locate the
operators of the huge fiery ball at the center of the solar system
for a similar action.
*Java is a Trademark of Sun Microsystems, Inc. Anyone caught using
the trademark without permission will be beaten, flogged, sued, and
forced to use Microsoft products.
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