San Francisco, CA, March 12, 1996 -- America Online, Inc. (AOL) and Satan
today announced a far-reaching strategic partnership. Under terms of the
agreement, AOL will license the souls of all mankind. Under the pact, AOL
agreed to seamlessly integrate the Dark Lord's plans for the domination of
the world into their client software. "Our agreement is tremendous win-win
for us and for humanity", Beelzebub was quoted as saying. CEO Steve "hanky
panky" Case was quoted as saying, "after devouring the souls of our
employees, well... we've just got a taste for it now. And hey, it could be
worse... look at Microsoft..." But, of course, the alliance with Satan was
just the next anticipated step after the announcement was made this morning
that America Online's integrated browser will be Internet Explorer. As one
AOL employee was quoted as saying: we sold our soul to the devil..i wonder
what we get out of it? A fellow employee, replied: an icon on the desktop of
hell.