Hangin' Out With The Horny Girls

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From: Jeff Bone (jbone@jump.net)
Date: Fri Sep 22 2000 - 23:49:10 PDT

Ah.... it's past 1am, GF in bed, I'm too pooped from a long and
tedious week to go DT, nothin' better to do apparently than FoRK some
bits, try to pass a couple of milestones. (Thanks for your concern,
don't worry, passing those won't hurt --- I've been drinking
Woodchuck cider. A LOT of it. I could pass a freakin' boulder about
now w/o wincing. ;-)

It occurs to me that I've never made a music recommendation to the
list. (At least, I don't think I have, and w/o serious automation
technology we don't have I'd be hard-pressed to find a counter.) It
also occurs to me that Tim Byars' record for filthiest FoRK post has
stood unchallenged for far too long. Maybe I can kill two birds with
one stone. (Though likely I'll miss on the Byars mark on a
technicality as these include somebody else's bits, strictly


RUN, do not walk, to... um, wherever... and buy EVERY DISK The Scabs have ever released. For those who don't know, they're a FUCKING INCREDIBLE awesome Austin band. Their style is all over the map from lounge to soul to punk to rap to hip hop, and they are (a) just freakin' musical and comical geniuses simultaneously, and (b) a mind-expanding band if there's been one of those in the last few years. Seriously. Pick up any / all of Freebird, More Than A Feeling, and The Scabs (Always Fresh, Never Shitty.) These guys rock. The band is huge and they have horns and every other conceivable instrument going at some point in some song.

I'm going to totally break the rules and post the complete lyrics to one of my favorite songs of theirs. I'm doing this w/o their permission with the SOLE intention of getting you to go and support these guys by buying their wares. (BTW, if you do like them, you've GOTTA see them live while you still can. They rock the house hardcode, and I can say this with some authority after spending a couple of years booking bands as a side business here in Big A.) This song is FUCKING FUNNY! It's kind of a slowish piano bar ballad kinda thing.

Hangin' Out With The Horny Girls --

hanging out with the horny girls, that was kinda cool. there was nothing I could think of that they wouldn't do.

they were quite bisex-u-uh-ah-ul, and they were kinda nasty. they were always nake-eh-ed, and took a lot of ecstasy.

hanging out with the horny girls, was better in the head. i tried to order pizza but they tied me to their bed.

it was quite an adventure. i think i got the clap. they put their finger in my butthole, i couldn't take a nap.

hanging out with the horny girls, i nearly peed my pants, (nearly peed my pah-ah-ants!) when both their husbands showed up at my house to kick my ass.

and if i had a nickel, (if I haad a ni-i-i-ckel!) for every time they ate each other out... (ooh-wooh-oooh)

...i'd have about eighty five cents! (oh yes i would have eighty five cents, ba-a-a-by)

hanging out with the horny girls! (ha-a-a-nging out with the ho-o-o-rny girls!!!) hanging out with the horny girls! (yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah!!)

hangin' out with the ho-oh-o-rny girls!!!!


;-) :-) ;-)

(Sounds like he met the lingerie models over at Rancho Diablo! ;-)

These guys totally kick ass. The next song on the album is "Fuck Me." Other tracks include "Don't Be So Stingy With Your Pingy" (a kind of Barry White kinda thing,) "We Can't Find His Head, Mrs. Johnson," "The Headless Samurai of Oatsmogie, OK," and the timeless and absolutely mandatorily ass-shaking "Staysha Brown." That's all on More Than A Feeling. Fave tracks off of Freebird include "Big Butts and Blowjobs," "Baby Put Your Panties On," "I Fucked Your Daughter In The Ass, Boy," "Pussy Fever," and "Who Got The Goodies?"

Trust me. You'll love these guys. Despite the fact that they would appear on the surface somewhat like an X-rated Weird Al for adults, these guys are hardcore musicians and their stuff is about the most creative, solid, and cool stuff I've heard in years. (For what it's worth, I *never* liked Weird Al, even when I was like 13 or whatever.)

Jeff Bob sez "Check 'em out!"



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