....Roy
[*] http://www.arctic.org/~dgaudet/apache/no-content-length/
------- Forwarded Message
as seen on rec.humor.funny:
====================================================================
VIRUS WARNING!!! VIRUS WARNING!!! VIRUS WARNING!!! VIRUS WARNING!!!
Dear Internet user,
It seems that the destructive minds who like to invent computer viruses have
struck again. A new virus, popularly known as INTERNET EXPLORER 4.0, has
been propogating the Net for several weeks now. MILLIONS of computers have
been infected by this insidious virus (mostly PCs, and a few Macintoshes as
well.) This virus is one of the MOST DANGEROUS yet unleashed on the computing
public!
INTERNET EXPLORER 4.0 is known to have the following horrible effects on
infected computers:
* It WASTES an incredible amount of HARD DISK SPACE, space which could
otherwise be used for productive applications
* It causes the infected computer's performance to be DRASTICALLY
REDUCED--Pentium machines which are stricken are known to slow down
to the speed of a 486
* It surreptitiously MODIFIES the underlying operating system, causing
the CORE FUNCTIONALITY of the instrument to change RADICALLY
* It, through the use of Trojan-like ALTERATIONS to the core Java
APIs, may cause Java applets to MALFUNCTION. These effects are so
SEVERE that the designers of Java, Sun Microsystems, are taking LEGAL
ACTION against the inventors of this terrible virus
* It, once installed, is VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE for the average user to
remove from the system
* It is known to create SECURITY HOLES, which can allow unknown users
to DELETE or DESTROY files on your hard drive
* It is known to cause many popular and reliable Internet browsers,
such as NETSCAPE NAVIGATOR and NETSCAPE COMMUNICATOR, to not function
correctly
* It is even known to infect NEWLY PURCHASED computers coming from
repuatable manufacturers like COMPAQ and DELL. These companies have
so far been POWERLESS to prevent this virus from being installed on
the computers they sell.
* It is known to be UNDETECTABLE by most virus-checking software
packages
The good news is that the JUSTICE DEPARTMENT is currently investigating the
rogue hackers who CONCOCTED this destructive virus. They have been traced to
a Seattle suburb, and may face fines of ONE MILLION DOLLARS PER DAY for the
pernicious manner in which this virus is being distributed. The bad news is
that millions of computers have ALREADY BEEN INFECTED. The inventors of this
virus even have the gall to gleefully BOAST about this terrible fact on their
web site!
Here's what YOU can do:
1) If you see a website with the "Internet Explorer" logo, do **NOT**
click on the logo. This can cause this virus to be DOWNLOADED and
INSTALLED on your system!
2) If your computer is ALREADY INFECTED, and it's a Windows-based PC,
call the technical support hotline at Microsoft (the company which
wrote Windows), and ask them for instructions on how to DISABLE and
REMOVE this virus. They should have instructions to do so.
I apologize for the URGENT TONE of this message, but only if we WORK TOGETHER
can the spread of the dreaded INTERNET EXPLORER 4.0 virus be slowed or
stopped.
------- End of Forwarded Message