[VOID] Sat. afternoon drive

CobraBoy (tbyars@earthlink.net)
Sat, 23 May 1998 20:40:43 -0700

Rohit somehow feels like my life qualify's for [VOID] posting status so
here is a little bit of it.

This little story involves the Cobra and some yuppie dickhead that thought
he could fuck around on the frwy.

First a little set up. I was rear ended on the 405 on Aug. 1st 1993, at
1:00 PM in the afternoon. It was a bright and clear day. I had slowed for
traffic at the "Fox Hills" turn and the guy behind me worked graveyard and
had fallen asleep. He plowed into me at around 55 - 60 miles per hour. I
was maybe doing 10 Mph. No screeching tires, no brakes, nothing. Just
impact. 8 months in physical therapy.

Anyway, I'm a little agitated when someone gets too close to me.

So on with the story.

(BTW: I HATE yuppie's)

I'm on the 22 Frwy going to the 5 to get to Gr3gs to drink some cider and
have a barbq. This idiot in a Green Dodge Cheeroke Grand Sport Super Club
Ltd. Deluxe just runs up on my bumper on the off ramp. I mean right up on
my bumper. I don't feel real comfortable in this situation so I accelerate
to 80 around the off ramp then take it to around 110 on the 5 South to get
away from this idiot.

So now I'm cruising around 80 or so and look what idiot I see steaming up
the frwy? I watch as he passes me and proceeds to start weaving in and out
through traffic. I was seriously tempted to call on my cell and report him
to John Law, but it occurred to me that I don't know how to do that on my
cell. (I'm lucky to get through the menu's on the StarTac.) So I just
watched him act like an idiot.

See the problem with this type of behavior is he doesn't have enough power
to get anything done. In a Cobra, or Vette or Z28 yea, you can weave and
bob and accelerate and do something. In a Jeep Grand Yuppie Piece of shit
it's Bill Cosby in a VW in San Francisco. "I got it into 3rd and I'm not
stopping for anybody."

Anyway, the off ramp to Gr3g's just appears out of no where on the frwy. So
I'm trying to get over and all these Saturday afternoon drivers aren't
letting me over. So it's down to 3rd up to 100 and sweep around them.

Well guess who is getting off and the same exit? Mr. Yuppie piece of shit
Jeep. So I being CobraBoy and not appreciating dick heads seize the moment.

Off ramp speed around 80, downshift to 4th, 3rd, yuppie scum takes the
outside lane. CobraBoy takes inside lane. Start turn, brake hard. Turn.
Pitch Cobra sideways into turn inside Mr. Yuppie scum. Skid into turn, drop
down to second. Gas, then let up. Fall in behind dickhead.

Now Mr. Agresso yuppie is scared. He hits his brakes hard. Check side
mirror, floor it, Cut in front of minivan, hit third, take it to 80.
Proceed to Gr3gs..

I doubt my pulse raised 10 bpm. Mr. Yuppie piece of shit however might
think twice next time he starts to act like king of the road.


BTW: the Barbaque at Gr3gs was pretty awesome. Just three sick ass guys
drinking really strong cider and saying rude things about the new CNN
anchor girl. But then again what are weekends for?


Go sell crazy somewhere else, we're full up here. ...Nicholson

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