Alanis and X-Pac

CobraBoy (
Thu, 7 May 1998 15:45:17 -0800

This just had to be Forked. If you don't follow pro wrestling it won't make
a lot of sense to you.

Alanis: Generation X celebrity.
X-Pac: Degeneration X celebrity.

Alanis: Has a face like a horse.
X-Pac: Also has a face like a horse.

Alanis: A couple of years ago, left behind teeny-bopper image with
release of breakthrough album in new musical genre.
X-Pac: A couple of years ago, dropped "1-2-3 Kid" moniker and grew a
beard before achieving substantially greater degree of success in new
wrestling promotion.

Alanis: Was part of the invasion of female artists onto (formerly
male-dominated) music charts.
X-Pac: Was part of invasion of the New World Order into World
Championship Wrestling.

Alanis: Appeared weekly on "You Can't Do That On Television"
X-Pac: Appears weekly doing inappropriate and offensive things on

Alanis: Often had buckets of slime dumped all over her in the
aforementioned show, for the amusement of the audience.
X-Pac: Often got drunk and threw up on himself for the amusement of
Shawn Michaels, Kevin Nash, and Scott Hall.

Alanis: Recorded a song called "Mary Jane".
X-Pac: Has been known to smoke "Mary Jane".

Alanis: Once dated Dave Coulier, star of "Full House"
X-Pac: Once competed in front of capacity crowds at WWF "In Your House"

Alanis: Advocates performing fellatio while sitting in a movie audience.
X-Pac: Advocates that audience members "Suck It!"

Alanis: Has one hand in her pocket (presumably her hip pocket).
X-Pac: Uses two hands to gesture somewhere in the vicinity of his hips.

Alanis: Has current single titled "Uninvited".
X-Pac: Very recently showed up at Monday Nitro uninvited.

Alanis: Released cathartic, pain-filled breakthrough album titled
"Jagged Little Pill".
X-Pac: At early stage in career, must take pills to soothe pain in his
jagged little neck.

Alanis: On album, publicly angry over the end of her relationship with
former boyfriend.
X-Pac: On television, publicly angry over end of relationship with
former employer.

Alanis: While on tour, is rumored to have dated members of her band.
X-Pac: As member of the Clique, is also rumoured to have dated members
of his group.

Alanis: Doesn't seem to understand the meaning of "irony".
X-Pac: Doesn't seem to understand the meaning of "shave and a haircut".

Alanis: Is not expected to record another album until the autumn of
X-Pac: May not be healthy enough to compete again until the autumn of


Go sell crazy somewhere else, we're full up here. ...Nicholson

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