> [This took a staggering amount of web surfing to find the genuine text
> of the california vehicle code... The main problem is that transporting
> scotch, etc to a perty seems reasonable enough in the back seat, behind
> the driver, but it's technically been uncorked/unsealed already.
> Of course, that's why it's sold in brown paper bags, no? There's no
> probable cause for them to enter your vehicle and inspect if you're
> sober. And my backseat's a mess anyway :-) --RK]
Couple of things.
1) Carry that open C in the trunk. That is why some of us have trunks.
Anywhere in a SUV you're popped.
2) If you have said SUV and you want to go out and get wrecked, call a limo
company and hire a driver. If a licenced driver is driving you can sit
there and mix a gin and juice in front of john law and all he can do is get
3) And most important if you ever get pulled over don't ever, EVER say "I
just had a couple of beers officer."
because if you do...
You're an complete asshole that just gave him probable cause and should go
And another few things...
If pulled over and john law asks you if you've been drinking, the following
is always good, "nope, not at all, I did eat a (burger, taco, pizza, etc.)
with extra onions. That must be what you're smelling."
British translation: "Just had some chips mate, core blimy that cod was
foul." (aren't they cute?)
If you start driving and you realize you can't do a very good job, pull
over into a bar or restruant parking lot and remove the keys from the
ignition. If john law for any reason comes up and hassles you telling you
the hood is warm, tell him that you got cold and ran the engine to heat up
the car. Remember have the keys out of the ignition. And sometimes john law
gets smart. Be sure to park facing a sign of the spot or look and remember
the name. He might ask you what the name of the place who's parking lot
your in is.
If you're driving home on the Frwy and are totaled set the cruise control
to something like 58-62 mph. That is what they were invented for. Then you
can concentrate on keeping the car between the little dots in the road. If
you are impatient to get home, remember it's going to take a lot longer in
sitting in jail. If your driving and your one eye blind, be a sport for the
rest of us and do what it says in the paragraph above.
When spotted doing 140 mph on the 101, I have Ford Motor Company Special
Vehicle Team's 17" disc brakes and ABS to thank for allowing me to get
off the frwy and ditch the cop.
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