http://www.wired.com/news/news/culture/story/20436.html
Gay Palm-Reading?
Wired News Report
3:00 a.m. 26.Jun.99.PDT
Forget about watching for
rainbow bumper stickers, lambda
earrings, and Liza Minelli albums.
If your gaydar is weak, your
PalmPilot can help.
Gaydar, the near-psychic ability
to suss out another's sexual
orientation, has long been
extolled within the gay
community. Now there's Gaydar
shareware for men who don't
want to trust vibes and auras.
"This is like a hearing aid. We
want to help those poor gay men
who have a tough time using
their inner gaydar," said Mr.
Scratch, co-creator of the Gaydar
with Drunken Monkeys partner
Evil Man.
Though the Drunken Monkeys
software duo prefer not to reveal
their identities, the Gaydar is a
lot less coy.
When users request the status of
a likely male target, the Gaydar
performs a scan of a human
figure, supposedly reading his
thoughts and physical makeup.
Upon finishing its analysis, the
Gaydar pops up a Kinsey
scale-like result of the subject's
queer quotient, ranging from
straight-but-curious to highly
flammable.
"There is no purely straight
result," smirked Mr. Scratch.
"Because even if you are straight
you might not be after a
six-pack. Whoever you scan is
going to end up a flamer."
Obviously the US$5 shareware is
not a magic tool. It can't actually
separate Friends of Dorothy from
the staunchly straight. But
Drunken Monkeys hopes users
will at least get a giggle out of
it.
"This is a gay man's Magic
8-Ball," said Mr. Scratch. "And
what the heck, if you pay the
shareware fee you'll be helping
two gay men have more dinners
out and buy more beer."
A deluxe Gaydar version is on its
way, said Mr. Scratch, and a
lesbian Gaydar may also soon be
in the works.