Bubba Gates

duck (duck@cci-29palms.com)
Wed, 27 Nov 1996 15:47:27 -0800


[FW] - author unknown

THE TOP 20 THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT IF BILL GATES WAS A REDNECK...

1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a hefty bag
4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"
5. Instead of "Ta-Da!," the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk
redneck yelling "Freebird!"
8. Instead of "Start Me Up," the Winders '95 theme song would be
Achy-Breaky Heart
9. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
10. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
11. Instead of latte carts we'd have grits carts
12. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now, Yah hear?!"
13. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
14. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
15. That wacky Deliverance wallpaper!
16. Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your
front yard
17. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator
18. Instead of asking "Where do you want to go today?", Its more like "Hey
mister, can I ketch a ride in the back?"
19. Free eraser to erase the scribble marks off the screen when using the
NotePad.

...and the 20th thing that would have been different...

20. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver

*** "Save the whales.....Collect the whole set!"
-author unknown